Thursday, May 19, 2011

It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair

Okay. Reese and I are just throwing this out here...maybe because we just need to vent but we seriously are both dumbfounded over this whole topic. Read on...

It's been written about over and over, the differences between men and women but why then, do we still not understand each other?  Is it that people just don't want to make the time?  Or maybe there is something inside of us that makes us not want to deal with the opposite sex?  Whatever it is, both sexes keep messing it up.  As two women who have recently hit a rough patch with significant others, we decided to look deeper into what makes men tick.  Bashing the opposite sex is always fun but as Reese's mother always says- "we must look at both sides of the coin."  To start things off, we found this blog on the Masters of Healthcare website.  Take a look!  There is some pretty interesting stuff in here:

Let both of us clarify that- we don't hate men, we aren't angry at the world and that we understand men and women communicate differently. We're in our early 20's so obviously we don't have as much life experience, and we aren't in committed relationships or married. However, we're both Communication majors and Women's Studies minors (twins- holla!), so I just feel like we have a pretty good academic grasp on this issue. The issues I see in gender communication are...

*"You should know what I meant/You should know I was joking/You should..."
-We all know what assuming does! Sometimes "you should know I was joking" feels more like you're simply hiding behind a "joke" that was actually hurtful.  Nobody can read your mind and sometimes we all say things that stick- words do have power. 

*"I don't care"
-If I had a nickle for every man who has said this to me! When I hear this- it hurts me because I put effort and time into everything I do...I'm a planner, an organizer, I don't do anything halfheartedly. To tell me you don't care about issue a, b, or c is personal to me.  There are two people in this relationship- let's both make some decisions!

*No communication at all!
-Almost every relationship I've been in...the guy just will NOT discuss some things- small things like why his day was bad or why he's not in a good mood. I'm not asking you to tell me about your troubled childhood, I'm asking you to tell me why you texted me "I hate my job". There is a difference. I can't help you if you won't talk to me. I can't feel close to you unless you show SOME emotion?

*When everything comes to a screeching halt
-I guess this could have gone under the "No communcation at all!" heading, but it is so important and relevant right now in our lives that it deserves it's own!  This has happened far too often and something that must be addressed.  Why do it, guys?  Everything seems like it is going well.  I feel good about how things are going.  Every time we talk it seems like he is happy with what is happening and then it hits you like a line drive.  He just stops calling/texting/everything.  I find myself in my bed eating ice cream and listening to Taylor Swift.  I don't want to seem clingy so I let it go for a few days but COME ON do I not deserve a simple phone call?  A head's up as to why in the world things ended so abruptly?  Speak up.  I'm not asking to get back together, I just want to know what is going on so I can move onto bigger and better men.

What say ye, fellow bloggers? Are we crazy? Are Michigan/Ohio men the only ones who struggle with communicating? :) How can we bridge this gap between the sexes?

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